Thoughts of the Misunderstood
by Bailey AKA 992323348
Summary: A series of vignettes from 6 X5's who didn't make it out in '09 (completed 29-06-02)
1. Cree

Uninvited

Authors Note: This is a Series of Six Vignettes from 6 X5's who did not make it out in '09. Adam: X5584. Cree: X5344. Trigs: X5631. Finn: X5802. Frankie: X5439. Dragon: X5776. I own them all, but nothing else.

I was never one of them.

Not once did I ever see myself among them, as their brother, or as a comrade.

I was always a little faster, and a little quieter. Only a few really understood me, and even they never really took notice. I was always there, always one step ahead of Max and Zack. They never noticed. I was another face in the crowd.

When Ben would tell stories I would sit with Frankie and Adam in the back of the crowd of kids. Sometimes Brin would join us if Zack had yelled at her, or sometimes it was Jack when he felt the shakes coming on. Jack would sit with his head on Adam's lap and smile like a little child. Adam loved Jack. I remember holding her hand when he died. She was scared.

Zack never noticed Adam and me. We were tight as tight could be. We were Max and Jondy on a whole other plain. He never saw it. He ignored us, never smiled at us, never let us win.

…I shouldn't say us. Sometimes he yelled at Adam 'till she cried, or smacked Frankie when she started talking too fast. Max just stared at him, shocked at his conduct, till she forgot a few moments later. She was a good kid, little Maxie, just a little naïve.

There were six of us. Six of us who stuck together. Adam was the quiet one. Frankie was brilliant, always the smart one. Trigs was a brilliant doctor, and rather funny. Dragon was a big brute, not that smart, but real strong. Finn was the one with a voice for us. And me, just another X5.

I remember the nights when Ben told stories about the Nomolies. Adam would squeeze my hand and Trigs's at the same time. Adam was scared a lot. Frankie would come over and hug her, hug her like Tinga would hug little Krit and Syl. Tinga never hugged Adam. Adam was different and she scared Tinga.

Dragon and Finn would sit on the same cot with Adam, Frankie and I. They would sit and talk quietly, so quietly that no one else could hear them. They seemed to know how the other thought and when they would say things before they actually did. Those two pulled my ass out of the fire more than once when we went on missions, but back when we were kids, they were just two little strange kids.

Trigs would stand apart from us, though she was never far from Frankie. She and Frankie were best friends. I know now how close they are, but even back then they were bright and alert. Trigs was the best guard we ever had. She, like Max and Jondy, never needed to sleep, she and Frankie. Only difference between them and the infamous Max and Jondy was that Frankie and Trigs were quiet when they stayed up.

I remember Adam leaning back against me and me wrapping my arms around her. I loved Adam back then, I always had. Something about those blue eyes that made me just want to keep her safe from Lydecker. She didn't need my help. By the time she was ten and I was twelve she was able to handle Deck. He left her alone. He was busy yelling at the others.

I remember one night especially, just before the escape. Adam was cuddled up to me, her head resting on my lap. Frankie was on my left, rubbing the scars on her hands. She often burned herself often on food, or trays or other things. She was careless back then. I was holding her arm and squeezing it tightly, holding onto her for dear life. I was worried about Jack. His shakes had been getting worse. Frankie had figured out some herbs to make him stop shaking in the woods, but she hadn't been able to smuggle any in that night. She was worried for her little brother.

Dragon and Finn were sitting behind me making jokes. Adam was giggling, as she finally figured out the code Finn and Dragon spoke in. Finn smiled he leaned over to kiss Adam on the forehead.

Zack had told him a few weeks ago to stop kissing Adam. Zack felt it was bad and would bring the Nomolies.

Finn could care less.

As Ben told the story, Trigs stood by the door watching. I remember her running her hands through her short hair and sighing. She hated it when they cut her hair. I remember scaring one of the newer soldiers who rubbed her head by biting him. Trigs was always very protective of her hair.

"I wish we never had to move," said Adam, smiling at me.

"I know," I answered, squeezing Adam's shoulder.

"I agree," said Finn, smiling.

"Cree?"

"Yeah Trigs?" I said, looking to her. She was white as our uniform white shirts. She was staring at Jack and listening to the door.

"They're coming."

"Everyone to bed!" shouted Zack. Adam jumped from my arms across the room, kicking Brin in the head as she jumped. She dove into bed. Frankie rolled off my bed and into her own. Trigs slipped into her cot right next to Frankie's as Finn and Dragon pulled up their blankets. I lay down quickly and held my breath. I tended to hold my breath when I was nervous.

"Everyone up!" shouted the Drill Sergeant. I got to my feet and looked around. Lydecker walked up and down, yelling for a while.

Then it happened.

Jack began to shake. I could see the look in Adam's eyes, a look that begged him to stop. He couldn't and he collapsed.

That was the night I remember most clearly. There's a lot of time in my mind that's a big blur. My life after the escape is unclear to me. I remember being dragged back to Manticore and living out my days there. I remember seeing Max being brought in with Zack's heart. I remember leaving.

Many things in my life don't matter anymore. Most of the training I got makes nothing better for me. I just need to survive. With all the Anti-Transgenic Propaganda out there is it any small wonder that the ordinaries hate me. Not really.

I wonder if Zack ever really thought I was part of his unit. I wasn't really ever one he knew well. I doubt he knew my designation. X5-344. 439 and me are out here now, out here on our own.

I hope Finn and Dragon are okay. I wonder if Trigs has forgiven my error in judgement. I wonder how my dear sister Frankie is. I wonder if Adam can still feel the tears in her eyes from the night Jack fell.

I wonder if any of the 09 escapees give a damn about me. Me and mine worked just as hard as they did, but we were never part of them.

I guess we were uninvited.


	2. Trigs

She fell

Cree's glaring at me again…

I don't like it when he gets like this.

He scares me.

He misses Adam something fierce. He decided it would be better if I was split up from Frankie. Problem was, Dragon would not leave Adam , meaning Frankie and Finn went one way, and Cree and I the other. I miss Frankie.

…Adam told me we should write down something for posterity, thinking of the first thing that comes into our minds. Cree did his last night, when we were all together in an old warehouse. He sat up all night staring at Adam. Poor kid.

Adam said that writing out our most vivid memories would help us understand the inner problems and demons that we each face. Each of us has something we regret. I should know, I was there for each of them. I know Cree regrets not being able to save Jack. Adam…I don't want to know about hers. Finn and Dragon each had jobs they failed at while at Manticore, and Frankie regrets a few things she did on mission.

I know what I regret. I regret losing the one I trusted almost as much as Frankie. She was a wonderful girl, and she fell. Eva, my Eva. She was a darling. Those eyes, and that smile, it melted my cold heart.

My earliest memory of Manticore is pain. Searing pain running up and down my body as I punished again and again for breaking rules. I was only three the first time. I remember that Cree, who's the same age as me, tried to get up to comfort little Adam, but he was tied down. I got out of my crib and went to the little crying toddler. I pulled her out of her crib like Cree used to, and I rocked her to sleep.

Then I dropped her.

The soldiers came running and I was caught. I remember the punishment for that. Six months in solitary. One of the Psychologists later told me it was all Lydecker's Idea. He wanted to see what I could take. I took it all and changed. I never really cared for anyone till I was ten. For six months seeing people meant pain, talking to people meant push-ups, and disobeying an order meant medical experimentation.

And Adam wonders why I'm so fucked up.

After I was allowed out, I was always alone. Even after I joined the Unit led by X5-599, I was alone. I ignored everyone and just kept to myself. In my childish mind, pain was still synonymous with other people. Relationships were pain in my mind.

I remember the look on the faces of some of the others when they saw the me and all my cruelty. I shocked them. X5-452 always tried to talk to me until I kicked her and sent her whimpering to X5-201. X5-599 yelled at me for that, and hit me. That reminded me that people were not nice.

I never liked X5-599 or any of those others. I never even referred to them by their names. I don't know if I still remember them all, not that I care too.

Eva was the first one to show me kindness. I remember on a mission, I was hit. We were using paintballs, and they hurt. I chose to leave my unit of X5-493, 711 and 701. I remember being on my own and being shot by damned Tinga.

I only remember Tinga's name because of the files I had to study on her when I was sent out after her. THAT caused me pain too.

I fell to the ground and writhed in pain. I was only a little girl of ten, and damn my leg hurt. I held onto it and was quiet. No one could know where I was, or that I was hurt.

If only Frankie had watched where she was stepping, things might have been different. She, Eva, Adam and Finn where trudging through the woods and stepped on me. Finn wanted to leave me behind, Frankie did too. Adam set my leg and said she'd carry me back if Eva told her to.

Eva did.

Eva sent Finn and Frankie on ahead to scout out the enemy. She turned to little Adam and asked her if she could carry me. She said no, she was too little.

Adam was always a very small child.

Eva tossed her gun to Adam, and picked me up. She was so gentle as she carried me back to base. I remember watching Adam scout out the others as she carried me through the darkened forest. Her footsteps and the beating of her heart were all I could hear.

When we got back to base, Lydecker smiled at Eva and told her what a good soldier he was for going out and fetching me. Then he took Adam away for a few days. She came back thin and upset and unable to talk about what happened.

She was just a kid.

So was I.

So was Eva.

Eva saw the little girls suffering and tried to comfort her. She gathered tiny Adam in her arms and coddled her until the guards came in the night she came back. She never ceased to amaze me, Eva did. She was wonderful.

I don't think I'll ever forgive 452 for killing her.

I remember the night of the escape. I remember Eva taking the gun from the guard. I remember Adam grabbing my hand as 201 helped 452 to her feet.

Then it all goes blank.

Adam told me I was shaking when Lydecker shot Eva. I don't remember. Finn, Frankie, Dragon, Cree, Jace, Adam and Brin all have recounted the story to me over the years, but it seems like a memory, like something that happened to someone else. To this day, when I fall down, I still expect Eva to come pick me up.

But I know she won't.

Because she fell.

And I wasn't there for her.

Manticore killed my friend.

Manticore killed my sisters and brothers.

Manticore killed my personality.

Manticore nearly killed me.

I won't let them though. I'm big enough to handle myself. I'm an adult. I'm not a little girl anymore.

But sometimes, at night, when I was in Manticore, I would sit up and think. I would walk to the door and look out. Sometimes I saw Eva falling backwards, a bullet lodged in her brain, and it would make me feel like a little girl again, a scared little X5 with no one to run to.

I know I have to be strong. It's required. Adam looks to me for help. Finn and Dragon think I'm invincible. Cree thinks of me as an equal, and if I was weak I don't think Frankie would be the same. Sometimes I wish I was allowed to be weak, that I could be the one who needed to be hauled along.

I can't.

And I never will.

Because the only one strong enough to save me was Eva.

And she fell, when it really should've been me.

I'm nothing, see.

Expendable.

And even if no one else sees it.

I know it to be true.

But right now I just have to take Eva's place.

Because she tried to haul too many people.

Authors Note: This one was a lot darker than the first. I think they all will be. The Next one will be Finn. PLEASE REVIEW THIS! IDEAS WOULD BE NICE!


	3. Dragon

Broken Promises And Broken Minds

I remember a lot of my childhood was spent with Zane by my side. Zane had a wicked little sense of humor that always cracked me up. He'd make jokes about Max and Jondy that would send me into convulsions. I remember once, during a game of escape and evade, he snuck up behind Jace and pinched her bottom. She screamed so loud.

I haven't seen Zane in going on eleven years.

And I remember that sometimes Krit would join Zane and I. He would sneak up on little Syl and scare the poor little one. I think Syl broke his wrist once, but it was still funny as hell to watch the dark eyed child run screaming from his younger sister.

I saw him once. I watched him on the feed from the security cameras when he took down the lab.

I can't forget Khalid. He was such a little joker back then, forever putting frogs into Tinga's boots. She used to get so mad at him, tried to hit him. He'd come to me and Finn's for protection.

One day…I couldn't protect him.

Ben was a good guy too. His stories always made me think. That boy would have made a great con-artist. He convinced me to pull out three teeth to make the blue lady stronger. He was great, a good friend all in all.

I still can hear them talking, him and Max.

_Don't leave me here. Don't let them take me._

Ben, I can't carry you. We'll both get caught. 

I know. 

Ben, I can't. 

Please. You know what they'll do to me. They'll put me down there with them...the Nomolies. Please. 

Tell me about the Good Place. 

Where no one ever gets punished. 

And no one gets yelled at. 

And nobody disappears. And when you wake up in the morning, you can stay in bed as long as--

I can't get those voices out of my head. If I had gotten there five minutes earlier I could've stopped Max and saved Ben.

And then there was one more little X5 who I miss. Khalid. Khalid was one of the younger X5's, like Adam or Max. He liked to smile a lot. His smile was intoxicating, it made you want to be happy.

I remember one night, when I was eleven and he was nine, Adam came back in from her regular talking to by Lydecker. She looked so sad and lonely that Khalid felt compelled to comfort her. He walked over and wrapped his arms around the little girl, and started humming.

All the others walked over to listen to him hum. Soon after, he stopped humming and started singing. We all sat listening to him and wondering how someone so wonderful could be stuck in a hellhole like Manticore. I remember the look in Adam's eyes fade to one of adoration and love. She did love him. Adam loved Khalid.

I only wonder if she still loves me after I failed him.

Khalid was a sweet little boy. He was always there for all of us, even when others weren't. When Finn was got hit with the butt of Zack's gun, Khalid comforted him. When Trigs got the shakes, Khalid was there.

And when Khalid needed me, I wasn't.

I remember the night of the escape. We were all so scared. I remember the blank look on Trigs' face as Eva fell, and I remember running as fast as I could. The window didn't hurt when I dove through it. I knew what I had to do.

I can still feel Khalid's fingers clutching my own as we ran through the woods. He was the one I was supposed to care for. I held on to him SO tight I left little marks on his hand. He looked so small that night, his face full of fear and confusion.

We crossed paths with Cree and Adam that night. The four of us huddled in a tree as snowmobiles went past. Khalid held onto Adam's hand as Cree held her tight. Her words that night haunted me.

Don't feel upset Dragon. It won't be your fault.

But it was my fault.

After we left the tree, the sound of tazers rang out. Adam and Cree were caught and dragged back with Trigs, Frankie and Dragon. I kept running till I got to the fence.

I don't think I can make it Dragon.

Yes you can Khalid.

Dragon, they're coming.

Just go Khalid. I'll be right here for you.

NO! We'll die.

I won't let you die Khalid. You'll make it. I promise.

Everyday of my life since then I regret saying those words. You won't die. You'll make it. I promise.

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

I promise…..

I PROMISED!

Everyday I say to myself it wasn't my fault. I was high on adrenaline and didn't hear the snipers coming. I never would've dreamed they'd shoot to kill. I expected less. I never heard the shot that rang out, killing my brother.

All I could hear was the sound of those words over and over in my head.You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

If I could take back those words I would. Khalid fell from the fence just as he was getting over. I Took off into the air, but was hit with a tazer. I remember shaking as Khalid called out for his family.

Adam? Adam help me! Max? Zack? Tinga? ANYONE? PLEASE! HELP ME. It hurts so bad. It hurts! I'm hit! PLEASE! Finn? Frankie? Trigs? Zane? Ben? Krit? SYL? JONDY? DRAGON? CREE?

Khalid?

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

Dragon? Dragon it hurts! Dragon it hurts…It hurts…so…

Khalid? KHALID!

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

Damn it all. He didn't make it and it was all my fault. If I hadn't tried to leave he wouldn't have died. I wasn't strong enough to save him. I should've been the one left to die in the snow, not him. I was the one who should've been hit.

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

I broke my promise. I broke my fucking promise to my baby brother and he DIED! If I wasn't such a fucking weakling he would've lived. I might as well have been holding the gun with all the trouble I caused him. I killed him.

And all I can hear in my head when I'm by myself are those little words.

You'll make it. I promise.

You won't die. I promise.

I have someone else to protect now. Little Adam needs my help. I watch over her like a hawk. No one will get her. I won't let them. I will lay down my life for her. Khalid would've wanted it that way.

And I don't promise anything anymore.

Cause I'm too fucking weak to keep the promises.

Authors Note: My muse spoke to me and told me that these characters are meant to be deranged. Sorry I lied when I said that I was doing Finn next. It started like that, but ended like this.


	4. Frankie

Resisting

I bear the scars of those who weren't strong enough to live out their goals.

I am the one who feels the punishment for THEIR mistakes.

I tried so hard to be what they wanted and all I got was scars and memories I would like to bury in the back of my mind. There are things I don't want to think about, things I don't want to deal with, and things that are better left unsaid.

I remember the night of the escape. Trigs and I ran as the sound of dogs and guns echoed in our ears. She and I would've made it had it not been for the piercing screams of Khalid. I couldn't leave him, I just couldn't, so I dragged Trigs with me. She was still in a dazed stupor over the death of Eva. When we got to Khalid, he was dead, and Dragon was caught. I tried to save Dragon, but I couldn't. There were too many guards.

They managed, in total, to drag seven of us back to Manticore. Finn, who had partnered off with Cole, was caught just before he reached the fence. Adam had made it past the fence with Tinga, but went back to help Zack. Myself, Dragon and Trigs all got caught by the fence, while Cree came back of his own volition in order to be with us.

I remember the next year at Manticore, the pain, the suffering, the horror of being left behind. I went through every kind of torture I can think of. I don't even want to think of some of them. The fact that the people at Manticore could do that to a child made me absolutely ill. I remember watching Adam come in her eyes all bloodshot and blood seeping down her face. The Doctors had used Psycho-actives on her, and was cutting open her forehead while he was doing it.

The people there, they made me sick.

And we couldn't stop it, that was the worst part. We didn't know what they wanted to know. None of us knew what they wanted to know. None of us could tell them where any of the others were.

And through all that, I resisted.

I remember one day I found Dragon Crying on the floor, bleeding. One of the guards had done something to him no one should do to a little boy. Dragon said the man said it was the ways boys were made men. It make me sick to think that anyone would do that to a young boy. He was only ten when it happened, and every time I look in his eyes now all I see is that abused little boy crying out for his brother Khalid, or his sister Tinga.

I remember finally getting out of the torture, out of that place, back into the world. Of the seven of us, six made it. Cole died at the hands of the doctors who were trying to find out where Max was.

…When I was in there I often wondered if the ones who escaped still loved us. At least they could've made some sort of sign to let Manticore know where they were. They would've saved us all a lot of trouble. Even a glimpse would've sent Lydecker running and saved all of us the agony.

But I resist.

After we got out, we were 'specialized'. Manticore saw different talents in each of us and separated out unit. Trigs became a doctor. Dragon handled the weapons. Finn, Cree and I were all made deep-cover operatives. Adam was found to have Psy-ops type abilities and went there to help operatives when they needed to forget.

Even after we were split, I never forgot about those days. The pain, the suffering all caused by one fact. The ones who made it out forgot about us. They never even looked back, not once, and we suffered for it.

Dragon was involved in weapons related accidents more often than he likes to admit. The abuse he had as a child carried on all his life. He hated all soldiers who were older than him, held them in no respect. I can't understand him at all, and I used to be able to.

Finn and Cree and me have all been involved in missions we regret. The blood of children rests on my hands, while Zack and the others need only kill those who would destroy them. I have INNOCENT BLOOD ON MY HANDS!

Trigs has bad memories too, memories of dissecting little X7's who had progeria. Memories of being caught in bed with another woman and being sent to Psy-Ops for reprogramming. I remember her coming out of there, unable to speak to anyone. Only by the grace of the blue lady was she lucky enough to have little Adam on her side.

Soon after the 09 escape, Adam was tested for abilities Psy-Ops could use. Three hundred cards were shown to one of the guards. She knew them all, in proper order, except for one which was a trick card. Psy-Ops saw her potential and had her working for them with the X5's within a week. She ended up later being in charge of making the young X7's hive minds work.

I remember watching her come back to the barracks after a hard day with an X5, or X7. She would curl up in a little ball on her bed and cry. She cried for the kids she wasn't able help, she cried for the kids she couldn't help, and for the kids she knew one day would need her help that she would never be allowed to help.

And I still resisted.

I think my most vivid memory of my adolescent years was when I was about seventeen. It was late at night, and Trigs and I were sitting at the window watching some of the X4's run through a training exercise for the twelfth time. It was late, and the moonlight filled the room.

_What are you thinking Frankie?_

About them.

The ones who made it out?

Yeah.

I miss Eva.

Why?

Because of things.

Like?

I think I was in love with her Frankie. If she had lived…I think I would be with her, if she'd have me.

You…like women?

…Yeah.

Oh.

I know it's not allowed.

I thought the other time was just to try it.

I did, and I liked it.

Are you with anyone now?

I want to be.

Who?

…I don't know if I should say. If she rejected me I would die.

I don't think she will.

You.

I won't reject you.

I love you.

I love you too.

We sat up all night talking and just being together, but by morning we knew it couldn't happen. We were soldiers at Manticore and we weren't allowed to love. I remember staring longingly at Trigs, wanting to be with her, but I wasn't allowed. Because of the new rules, X5's weren't allowed to get close to other X5's.

I loved Trigs, and I couldn't even kiss her.

And still I resisted.

Through it all, I stayed strong and resisted the urges that my mind and heart told me. I didn't want to give in. It would betray those who I once loved.

Soon I stopped resisting some parts.

I stopped loving those who left me behind. Tinga, Brin, all of them. They were just people who happened to have the same genes as me. I stopped thinking of them as my brothers and sisters. All except for Ben. I always had a soft spot for Ben.

And even though I didn't love them, I still resisted the urge.

I resisted up until about a year ago. I remember being told that my mission was to track down a rogue X5, possibly two. The Number 331845739493 rang clear in my mind. It was Ben, I was hunting Ben.

I was paired with Dragon, and I chased the trail all through the woods. I saw the priest run the other way, but I ignored him. I was about to get my brother back. Ben would be able to tell me stories about the outside and keep the Blue Lady happy.

I never heard her say anything.

I only heard the crack.

Dragon says he remembers what Max said to Ben, but I don't. I only remember the sickening crack of my brothers neck at the hand of my sister. The crack seemed to echo in my mind that day, and to this day I can still hear it when I'm alone.

And she was supposed to be my sister.

It was then I gave in. The urges that had plagued me for so long. The burning Hatred welled up inside me, consuming my every emotion, my very existence. Those bastards killed my brother.

HE DIED AT THE HANDS OF HIS SISTER!

And so I stopped resisted.

And started hating them for leaving me behind.

Authors Note: Sorry it took so long to get this one up. The next one is Finn, and it will be short. I may do a sequel to this, where the six get to meet up with Max again. Please read and review. Feedback is my friend.


	5. Finnigan

A shower of Blood.

I was never given a name on a birth certificate, but I have a name, and it's one of the best names around. Then again, I think I'm biased cause I gave myself the name Finnigan, or to those I care about, just Finn.

I never had a mommy or a daddy to care for me, but I do have little sisters and brothers who depend on me.

I never knew what a birthday was, but I still had one day a year when my siblings would treat me real nice and give me little gifts.

I was never allowed to fall in love, but I'm not a virgin. I had sex with a fellow X5 a few years ago while out on mission. It was GOOD sex.

I was never allowed to choose my own clothes, but I always looked good when out on missions because Manticore hated slobs.

I never went to Disney world, but I've been to Italy, England, Spain, Germany, Canada and more eastern countries that I can remember.

Sounds like my old life was da bomb, eh?

No.

Why you ask.

I'd rather not talk about all the things I've had to do. I had to sneak into Buckingham Palace and kill all the royal children because their father was a threat to Manticore. Me and my baby sister Frankie, we hacked into a computer system in China and shut down the power to the children's hospital, killing seventeen hundred children.

As I said, I'd rather not talk about the things I did.

But all the time I was there taught me one thing. Live each day to the fullest. I can name off all of the X5's I spent the first ten years of my life with, and I can count on one hand the ones who survived other than me. Adam, Cree, Trigs, Dragon, and Frankie. Lord knows where the others are. Jace went AWOL a year ago. Cole died just after the escape in '09. The others all died on missions.

But I survived, and so did my closest siblings.

I try to live each day to the fullest, but no matter what, something always reminds me of the things I've done, which makes me worry about what could happen if I get caught.

I almost got caught once. It was a really bad way to get caught. I had been sent to San Francisco on a mission to retrieve information from a genetics company with the help of Trigs. It was supposed to be basic deep cover.

One night, a bunch of the guys went out to see this new singer, Jani Adams. One of the guys told me that she was in deep with the mob. Another mentioned that his buddy Derek and his girlfriend Francine would be there. We headed out after work to this old run down bar. As we approached, my eyes widened as I saw that Derek and Francine where Dragon and Frankie. I knew they were out in deep cover trying to find a rogue X5, but I never thought they could be in San Francisco with me and Trigsie.

Trigs eye's widened when she saw Frankie. To her, it was like being punished all over again. She and Frankie were in love back then, like they are now. On the mission, however, she was slated as my wife. She couldn't touch Frankie, or kiss her, like she wanted to. It was worse than torture for her.

I walked into the club with Dragon at my side. He scared me, Dragon does. The Catholic Priests of the '90's got nothing on the guards at Manticore. The guards, all of whom were denied access to opposite sex, knew that the punishment for violating a transgenic of the opposite sex was painful, as was the punishment for being caught with a fellow guard.. The punishment for groping a little X series of the same sex was nothing. Manticore saw it as training for if we were posted as gay. Dragon got picked on a lot as a child. He was abused in my place. Adam was abused a few times, by a female guard named Mika, but she stopped when she saw that Adam was suffering horribly.

I guess I should talk about my Adam and Cree issues if this entry is supposed to clear my soul…

Cree doesn't like me. Not at all, and it's for one reason. Adam, his Adam, made a choice that he has to live with. Cree loves Adam, the same way Zack loved Max. And the great sex I mentioned earlier? It was with Adam. She was in heat and I was there on mission with her. Instead of finding some guy off the street who could be infected with some god-awful disease and who might not be able to give her what she needed she chose me.

That was the way it was at Manticore. When you needed something, you took it.

And Cree has never forgiven me for it.

And now for something completely different.

I remember walking into the club with Dragon. As we walking, he whispered something about knowing the singer well. I looked up to see a really pretty girl with long curly white-blond hair up on the stage in a rather skimpy outfit.

"That's Adam," said Dragon, "She and Cree are posing as Mobsters to get a guard whose threatening to tell the secrets of Manticore."

"She looks good," said Trigs.

"I KNOW!" said Frankie.

"Eh!" said a Voice, "Trina! Fred!"

"Who?"

"Me! Show some respect," said Cree, dressed like your average mob boss, "You come to see my Jani?"

"OH yeah," said Frankie.

"You four can come join me," he said, "And barkeep, a round for their friends."

"Cree," whispered Frankie, "This is not good."

"Adam's been compromised," said Cree, "I need to take this guy down tonight."

"How?"

"Adam went into heat a few days ago. The Guard saw the signs."

"How?" asked Frankie.

"This guy was there back then. This is the guy."

"The guy?" said Dragon.

"The GUY!" said Frankie, "The one Manticore nearly had to castrate."

"I never heard about this," said Dragon.

"He raped Jace twice, and Adam thinks he molested Syl, Tinga, Jondy and Eva," said Cree, "Not to mention what he did to you Dragon."

"Him?" said Dragon, his green eyes hazing over at the thought of the guard who molested him numerous times as a child.

"Yeah," said Cree, "I want to rip him apart. Adam even wants a piece of him."

"Are you sure it's him?" said Trigs.

"Adam looked inside his head. It's him."

"Then the bastard dies," said Frankie.

I don't remember much of the next few hours. I remember hooting and hollering as Adam sang her lungs out onstage. It was really odd to see Adam so animated and full of life. She was usually so quiet. It was what Manticore did to her.

The next thing I remember is being in a dark alley with my family, waiting. Dragon had his knife out, and was ready to kill the guy the moment he got out. He came out alone, sober and smirking. Dragon's grip on the knife tightened as he saw the guy walk to his car.

The man looked around, his watery eyes taking in everything. Cree looked to us and made the signs to surround him. Adam moved, but she tripped on her heels. The man heard and took off running. I should've just let him go, he was not my mission, but something inside me begged to follow, and I did.

We chased him along the darkened alleys until Frankie used her amazing jumping to lunge forward and take the guy down. He drew his gun and shot Frankie right through the shoulder, sending her flying back. It was then I saw the others eyes. The looked like Animals, feral animals looking for a kill. They were the same eyes as during the escape, and when we hunted the convict. They were out for blood.

I often thought about what happened next, whether or not ripping the guy limb from limb was right or not. I'm not exactly sure if what I remember is what happened, or what I wished had happened. All I know is that we were all covered in blood by the time it was finished, and the man was dead.

I told this story to a fellow X series once. X5-494. He asked what it had to do with living life to the fullest. He didn't understand. His idea of life and mine were very different. I live my life to help my family, and for me living life to the fullest is helping my family get what it wants.

When I look back at my years in Manticore, I remember only a few things. I remember watching Eva die. I remember ripping the guard who sexually molested my brother limb from limb, and I remember sitting in a cold room with Adam, who was only about four, cuddling up to me for warmth.

I would die for my family, and I know one day I will, so until then I live life to the fullest, which is usually in a shower of cold blood.

Authors Note: Only one more to go. Finally the infamous little Adam gets to speak. Please read and review. This is my first fic and I like to know if I'm doing a good job.


	6. Adam

Baby

I can remember way back in my life, the moments in my life that changed me. I remember sitting in my crib with another little girl, X5-452. Maxie and I shared a large crib as infants. She was cute, and not much younger than me.

I remember meeting Zack for the first time. He glared at me, but I heard what he was thinking. He was scared that he wouldn't be a good leader, that he would fail his kids and wouldn't be able to live up to the standards set out for him. Kind of advanced for a six year old, but Zack was always smart.

I remember standing at attention in from of a man with a Cane. He said to Lydecker that I was special. I was one of the ones he spent extra time on. Me, Zack, Maxie and Dragon. He told Lydecker to watch for me seeing things before they happened, and for me to hear what others were thinking. I knew about all those things. Lydecker began to train me as an intelligence sort of officer because I was bright.

I remember sneaking into the Man with the Canes office. It smelled like an after-shave that Cree started wearing on missions. I remember reading a book, while Dragon stood guard. The book spoke of a 'God' and his special little ones.

I love Dragon so much, and it hurts me to be with him. He's in so much pain that I can't began to hear his thoughts. All I hear is the pain and suffering of a little boy who was told to bend over so he could become a man. I want to run and hold him, like Tinga used to do, but I can't.

The limitations my siblings put on me never cease to amaze me.

I remember being named by Dragon. We all named each other. Dragon remember the special little on in the book. Adam. I became Adam. I named my strong sister after the other one. She became Eva, the first. And she was the first.

I wish I could go and kill Lydecker for killing Eva.

But again I have limitations I owe to my siblings.

I can remember all the training I went through back there, in Manticore, and how much of it was bull. We were created to be killers, we didn't need training. The only reason to train us was to make us all the same. I can kill just as well as Dragon, but my deaths are more slow and painful, more methodical.

None of my siblings want to think about me killing anyone. To them, I'm Adam, I'm a pariah that Manticore wants to sacrifice. They won't let that happen. They'd die to protect me.

I remember one mission I went on. The other don't know about it. Manticore wanted it kept hush hush. I was implanted inside the cell of the Terrorist Group S1W. My job was to take down some of the big boys. I did. I killed nineteen terrorists, and the others don't even remember. They think the others just disappeared. My partner and I disposed of the bodies in the river. When we got back to the truck, she and I were covered in blood. Lydecker handed me a towel and told me that should clean up before I got back. He didn't want the others to know what I was doing.

The limitations placed on me never cease to amaze me.

I remember Brin being brought back in. I was put in charge of making her one of us. It was Lydecker's way of seeing if I was loyal. I did it, and it was hard, but I suceeded where six other Psy-ops-ers had failed. I remember Lydecker pulling me aside and telling me to go back to the barracks crying, saying it was too hard. Lydecker wanted the others to think I wasn't as capable as I am. I did what he said. What else could I do.

I remember when they told me they had Tinga, and later Ben. I was called to my duty, to keep the other X5's minds off the deaths and onto helping poor little Adam. Lydecker mentioned that I might be sent out as the guilty party, due to my genetic similarities to Ben. I am a Female Ben. The others were angry that he would suggest such a thing. They volunteered for missions to cover up Ben's death and Tinga's disappearance. I remember giving Frankie a little mission from Lydecker, not the Director. She took Case, and sent him to an old friend of Brin's.

I remember Trigs coming into the barracks one day a little more than a year ago. Zack was on life support, Max was barely alive, and they were both with us. She had been forced to remove Zack's heart. I forced myself to cry. I can remember walking down the halls with Cree, creeping past guards and hiding from Doctors. I snuck in and held Max's hand for a few minutes. Cree stood watch to make sure I was not interrupted. He wouldn't want to see me sad.

More than anything, I remember many of the dreams I had. I remember the dream about Eva. I had that dream seven or eight times a month for three years up until the day she died. I knew Ben was going to kill those people. I had dreamed about that all my life. I loved Ben, but when I began to realize that the dreams were real it scared me. Finnigan smuggled me in a journal so I could write down my dreams. Frankie began to sleep lightly next to me so she could hold and comfort me when I wake up screaming.

I remember escaping from Manticore. I felt the flames lick my face in my dreams. I woke up the others and we headed out a window. Cree held my arm as we ran through the woods. Trigs explained that the director had instructions to Cauterize the building if Manticore was found out. I watched as the flames actually engulfed the place I had called home. In a way, I was sad to let it go. I knew that the world was never going to accept me. The others maybe, but I was different. I was not a Transgenic, I was Trans human. During Trigs training, she found information about a species of fish that lived in the bottom of the ocean. They have no sight, but they avoid predators. They have pre-cognitive sight. They see things before they happen. The communicate using brainwaves, the same way I see the future and read minds. The seem to be sleeping when they do this, like me. Trigs figured that the Fish DNA was in me, Max and Jondy. The three of us didn't seem to need to sleep. I was officially a Trans-Human X5.

Trigs didn't tell the others. She decided it was better if the others never knew that I was a Trans-Human. She tried herself to forget. She didn't want to think that I was Trans-Human, because the Trans-Humans were stronger than the X-series. They just weren't good for deep-cover. Trigs didn't want to think I was strong enough on my own.

I remember seeing the signal to re-group. Cree wouldn't let us go back. He was afraid that it was a trap. I saw it in a dream that it was. We decided to stay free and keep running.

Cree split us up. He wanted to stay with me, but I decided to go with Dragon. He went with Trigs, and Frankie went with Finn. Cree knew that if the six of us stayed together we were in danger. He was a little happy that I was going with Dragon. He knew Dragon would protect me.

Dragon and I headed for Portland. I knew some people there from an old mission, and knew Dragon was safe there. Dragon could tell something was wrong when we entered the bakery and I got him a job but not me.

I left that night. Dragon was there to see me off. He handed me his cell phone and a gun. He wanted me safe. He knew there was nothing he could do to protect me anymore. He knew I needed to be out on my own. I left him in the bakery with another Transgenic, an Psy-ops member we named Joe. He looked like Jack, but he reminded me of a TV Psychic I saw when I was young.

I left Dragon behind and headed out on my own. He gave me a hug goodbye and then walked down the street the other way. I hopped on a bus and headed for Canada to try and find some other Transgenics who wouldn't think I was a baby.

Some of the guards said I never really worked. I spent most of my life in the labs fiddling with data or the minds of wayward trannies. I never went on any do-or-die missions like the others, yet I was said to be indispensable.

I know why.

My limitations.

The others were all pushed past their limits. Their minds and bodies were pushed to a point most couldn't survive. They needed a reason to do what they did and that was me. I was always the baby sister. I needed to be protected and loved. The others would die for me. I was their reason to stay at Manticore. They couldn't leave me behind.

I was their baby. I was the little one they lived for. Protecting little Adam seemed to be a reoccurring theme in all of their lives. They needed me to take their minds off all the things they did. They did them to get back to me. I was what kept them alive.

I was their little baby.

But I'm all grown up and on my own now. I need to prove that protecting me was worth it.


	7. Epilogue

Epilogue

"As dawn breaks on this, the third day of the siege at Terminal City, the situation is tense but unchanged," said the reporter from the small TV set in the corner of the dingy bar in Portland where three unhappy X5s sat, "While several hundred transgenics remain barricaded inside the restricted area, police and National Guard stand an uneasy watch at the perimeter--each side seemingly waiting to see what the other will do next."

"You think Max is okay?" asked Cree, sitting back enjoying a beer.

"Yeah," said Trigs, smiling at the TV footage of Max, her head leaning back against the wall of the grungy diner.

"I wonder if my baby sister is okay."

"She is Cree."

"What was she thinking, going with Dragon," said Cree, leaning back and frowning. Cree was a handsome young man with deep brown curls and forest green eyes.

"She was probably thinking she wanted to be out on her own," said Trigs, a beautiful black girl with puffy hair, "She also was probably thinking she had to do something."

"Crazy fool," said Cree, "Come on Trigsie. We're going to Seattle to see Max."

*+*+*

"Finnigan I'm gonna kill you," said Frankie as she and her brother stumbled through the crowd of people heading out of Seattle.

"She's here," said Finn, "I swear it Frankie."

"Finn, I'm pregnant, I can't run," she said. Frankie looked up and saw Helicopters in the sky. She ran her hand through her red hair, and glanced at herself in a mirror. Her blue eyes seemed hazy, possibly because of her tiredness.

"Almost there Frank," said Finn, smiling. His grey eyes lit up as they ventured deeper into Seattle, his blue hair acting as a beacon for his sister.

"Bastard," said Frankie.

*+*+*

"I tell you," said Dragon, arguing with an X8 he picked up on the road, "There are hundreds of Transgenics in Seattle."

"Really?" said the little boy.

"Yep," he said, "My sister is going there."

"What's she like?"

"Adam is my angel."

"What's an angel?"

"Someone you can't live without," he said, leaning back. Dragon had picked up an old jeep, and made it run with the help of a mechanic. He gazed around the cab with his violet eyes and ran his fingers through his black hair. He knew it was going to be a long ride.

*+*+*

"I appreciate this Mia," said Adam, smiling at her old friend.

"Anytime little one," said Mia, looking out the window of her Toronto Apartment.

"I'm going to Seattle."

"I know."

"How?"

"Honey, you're not the only one who can read minds."

"You think it's a good idea?"

"No, but who am I to stand in the way of your dreams."

AN: There is a sequel in the works. More of a story with a few Vingettes in the middle. Please add this and it to your favourites. I feel unloved. I'm no ones favourite ;)


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